The New Dad’s Pregnancy Overview

Most new dad’s feel that they have a fairly good grasp on pregnancy and what all it entails. I mean after all you’ve seen on TV and the movies what a pregnancy can do to a woman – and just like I was, you’re shaking in your boots.



Is she really going to go all nuts on me? Am I going to be driving around at 2 in the morning looking for an all night Chinese take-out or walking all over the grocery store looking for pickles and peanut butter?

My guess is probably not – of course there’s always that one wacko woman who will ask you to do crazy things, but I’m sure that one isn’t your wife.

The truth of the matter is that while a pregnancy does have a large impact on a woman (no pun intended) it usually is not nearly as bad as Hollywood would have you believe.

So what should you expect? Great question let’s dive into that.

• How long is a pregnancy
• The Good News
• Doctor Visits and Ultrasounds
• Side Effects

How long is a pregnancy?

Remember when we were figuring out which days your wife was most fertile? We said it was the 11th day after her period ended. If you assume most women’s periods last 3-4 days you get the 14 day difference between the 266 and 280. Neat how that works huh?

So I bet you already figured out the next step. What is the due date? Most people just wait until the doctor gives them an official due date, but I’m going to teach you how to figure it out yourself.

Take out a calendar and find the day that your wife’s last period started. Let’s say it was a Monday. Now count forward 40 Mondays and you have it.

You just did the doctor’s job, well actually it’s probably the nurse’s job, but hey you can now answer the most frequent question you’ll hear for the next few months.

This is of course about the most useless piece of information you’ll have the entire pregnancy. While there aren’t any real numbers on babies who are born on their due date the fact of the matter is it is low, less that 10%.

So why worry about it? As I said above, this is the most frequent question you’ll be asked for the next few months. Most babies are born within 10 days of their due date, so you got a window there of a couple of weeks as to when you can expect your baby to make his/her world debut!

The Good News

Number one – you don’t have to worry about getting your wife pregnant. This assumes that you were worrying about it in the first place, but you can have all the sex you want with her because she isn’t going to get any more pregnant than she already is.

Additionally she is not going to have a period again for awhile so there is much more opportunity available.

Number two – you have a live in designated driver. Assuming you enjoy drinking alcohol your wife can’t (or at least shouldn’t) while she is pregnant. This means that you’re free to let loose knowing full and well that she can drive you home.

One word of caution though – it’s probably best not to mention this to her out loud unless she is a good sport about it. Otherwise her ability to handle number two may impact her willingness to allow number one. It’s a fine line here.

So what else is good about a pregnancy? Well if you like unsolicited advice you’re in luck – you’re going to receive more of that than anything else. Personally I view this as somewhat annoying, but maybe you like everyone and their brother giving you an earful of advice every time you talk with them.

So you’re thinking “whoa, wait a minute here. Aren’t you giving me advice right now?” Yes, I am, but you came to my site for it, so it’s not unsolicited!

All joking aside, probably the best part is the excitement that comes along with it. Remember back to when you were a kid – those last few weeks leading up to Christmas – decorating the house, the pile of presents growing under the tree, going to visit Santa at the mall, and lying awake at night imagining yourself playing with your new toys? A pregnancy not much different.

You’ll decorate a nursery, you wife’s belly will grow, you’ll visit the doctor, and will lie awake at night imagining what it will be like to hold and play with your baby.

The best part of a pregnancy is the anticipation of what is to come. Enjoy that! If you want, write down your thoughts and hang onto them. One day you’ll forget what it was like, waiting for your baby to arrive and wondering what he/she would be like. It may also be a nice thing to share with your son or daughter when they are older.

Many women keep pregnancy journals – my wife did – and there are times when I wish I had written down some things to help remember what I was going through. Something to think about!

Doctor Visits and Ultrasounds

Well guess what – she still has to get officially tested by the doctor to verify she’s pregnant. This typically happens when she is about 6 weeks along – and this is in doctor speak so this begins the first day of her last period so really about 2 weeks after you first take that home test.

Now that she has seen the doctor for the first time, taken their test, and been told an “official” due date she is going to be scheduling more appointments.

For the first 6 months or so she will go once a month. Starting in the 3rd trimester she’ll go more frequently – every other week for a couple months and then every week the last month until the baby is born.

Most new dads simply want to know whether or not they have to go to every appointment with her. This is going to depend on what you and your wife want.

If you want to go to all of them and can be away from work to do so and she doesn’t mind you being there, by all means go with her. If this isn’t possible for you, or if you or she don’t want you there for all of them then that’s cool too. It really is a personal decision.

There are a few appointments that you will want to attend if possible. The first time you get to hear the heart beat is really cool as well as the one where they conduct the ultrasound and try to determine the sex of the baby. Otherwise most are just to see how she is doing and to measure her belly.

Speaking of the ultrasounds let’s turn our attention that way. This procedure will be the one that can answer the second most frequent question you’ll hear – “Is it a boy or a girl?”

In a typical pregnancy where the baby and mother are very healthy you’ll only have one (maybe two) ultrasound somewhere between week 18 and 22. While the question on everyone’s mind is boy or girl, the doctor is more concerned with the development of the baby.

They will look at arms and legs, head/brain, bones, and internal organs. They will also measure various body parts to look for any abnormalities and to check the size to see how developed the baby is. They can also use these measurements to estimate the baby’s weight.

Of course they will also look to see if there is a “turtle” or “hamburger” and let you know if you are having a boy or girl.

I will also tell you that unless you have experience reading sonograms you won’t have any idea what it is you’re looking at on the screen until it is pointed out to you. Don’t worry, if I asked it once I asked it 50 times – “What is it that we’re looking at now?”

On a more personal note I’ll tell you a bit about my wife’s pregnancy and experience with ultrasounds. She actually had four while she was pregnant.

We had one early on (around 8 weeks) due to some “spotting” (the common way of saying she had some blood coming out) she experienced. They conducted the ultrasound to check on the baby and make sure everything was ok. It was and we were glad she had it done as we got to see our blob of a baby on the screen.

The second one was optional. At around 12 weeks an ultrasound can be done to check for Down syndrome and we had decided not to do this, but one of the doctors in the practice was trying to become certified to do this test and had to do a certain number for free and asked if we would be willing. Since it was an opportunity to see the baby and get more pictures for nothing we agreed.

The third was the standard ultrasound when we found out we were having a girl. During this ultrasound the doctor noticed that her kidneys were larger than they should be. It wasn’t anything to be overly concerned about but they wanted to monitor it and therefore we had a fourth ultrasound to check on them. Fortunately they were fine and we were good to go.

One other brief thing to know about doctor visits and then I’ll stop. If the doctor she sees is in a practice with more than one doctor, chances are she will be asked to make appointments with the other doctors in the practice.

This is very common and done for a variety of reasons, but is good for her in that if she goes into labor and her doctor is unavailable one of the others will be called to deliver the baby. By seeing them all, she will at least recognize the person delivering her baby as opposed to it being someone she’s never seen.

Side Effects

So what should you expect as a side effect of this pregnancy? Great question and I wish I could give you a definitive answer, but unfortunately every woman is different and so is every pregnancy – some women have complete different experiences from one pregnancy to the next so there is no telling.

What I can do is tell you some of the things your wife may experience.

Morning Sickness – this is fairly common among pregnant women, especially during the first trimester, and there really is no cure. One thing that can really help is ginger – my wife drank quite a bit of ginger ale during the first few months and it seemed to help offset her morning sickness. Even just the smell of ginger can help – so buy some and put it around the house to help her out.

Heartburn – like morning sickness, heartburn just happens. My wife actually struggled with this quite a bit and after trying different things the doctor told her to take a Prilosec every day and that took care of it. As with any medication though – tell your wife to check with her doctor before starting any new meds.

Mood swings – these can be unpredictable, but if your wife is already prone to being “moody” then you can rest assured it will probably be exaggerated while she is pregnant. This is where you will really have to be patient and understanding.

Arguing with a pregnant woman is usually a recipe for disaster, so try to keep that in mind. There will come a time when she doesn’t like the way she looks (more so usual) since she has gained weight. This is the time to be comforting and reassure her that she is still beautiful and that you love her and are thankful she is willing to endure this for the baby.

If that doesn’t work then it may be best to remain silent, though at times it will seem that nothing you do is right. You should already be used to this though, especially if you have been married for any length of time.

Body Aches - with the increase in weight will come increases in aches and pains. Her feet and hands will swell and her back will hurt. A massage from you (or from a spa who does prenatal massages) will go a long way in helping her feel better and will score you major brownie points too.

Tiredness - your wife is going to be more tired than usual. She is going to need more sleep, so be sensitive to that. This may mean you can’t host the guys for poker night or if you do they have to leave by 10 so she can sleep. It’s also your job to make sure she doesn’t overdo things – help her out and give her some time to put her feet up and relax.

Wow – who knew there was so much to know about a pregnancy? I certainly didn’t know this when it was happening to me. The bad news is that we’re not done. There is more that we need to talk about. I hope that you’re up for it.

Continue to Understanding the Trimesters

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